3 W's of Relationships

In most cases, players have to walk together and work together before they can win together.

Walking relationship - Initiate a walking relationship with your teammates.

This is generally done off the court. What do you know about your teammates? Their families? Their likes and dislikes? Their struggles? The benefits of walking with your teammates include the biblical admonition of "bearing one another's burdens." For you to know how to encourage your teammates, you need to walk with them. Criticism requires no relationship with the one you are targeting, but if you walk with someone, you will be inclined to encourage him rather than criticize him. In addition, those who walk with someone else will also be inclined to pray for him.

Working relationship - Cultivate a working relationship with your teammates.

A walking relationship with teammates facilitates a working relationship with them. This dynamic generally happens in practices, in the weight room, on the track, and wherever else you work together. How much more inclined are we to work hard with our teammates when we first walk with them? Working together builds unity, establishes trust, and defers our own interests to those of the successes of our team. Do you like to go to work? If you say "yes," you like the players around you and are willing to be patient with their weaknesses and embrace their strengths for the benefit of team success.

Winning relationship - establish a winning relationship with your teammates.

Contrary to "bottom line" enthusiasts, the scoreboard is not the end-all in athletics. We are obligated in obedience to "run, that we may obtain"[the prize]; however, many "wins" exist apart from the final score.

Team goals that preclude a winning score are often "small wins" that, in time, accumulate and ultimately translate into wins on the scoreboard. These "small wins" share a common characteristic: teammates. A winning relationship with fellow teammates happens because the walking and the working relationships have already been established and are continually being enriched.

Now that we are in the off-season (on-season), individual workouts take center stage. As you hone your skills, eliminate weaknesses, and strengthen your body during these months, consider what steps you will take to walk and work with your teammates. Have you thought about initiating those first two w’s – walking and working - with your teammates? Imagine what could happen if a team was already walking and working together going into next season! “Small wins” would undoubtedly produce wins on the scoreboard. More importantly, the team would be able to fulfill its true mission better than ever before: to use the platform of athletics in ministry opportunities all around us. And it would be a true team effort!

This article was written by former BJU Bruins Assistant Coach, Larry Hunt.

5 Things Every Coach Can Give His Kids

One of my favorite parts of the Final Four is the opportunity to learn how to become a better husband and father through various ministries and workshops.  This past weekend, Carey Casey shared with us "5 Things Every Coach Can Give His Kids," which I thought was very good and wanted to share it.  Casey is the CEO of the National Center for Fathering.  Here are the notes that he gave us at the NABC Convention in Indianapolis.





1. He/She Needs a Living Example

• Set the example for expressing emotions responsibly.

         - Show them it's okay to be emotionally vulnerable.  Don't shut down and don't shut them down.
         - Research shows that most men are comfortable showing just one emotion - anger.
         - Learn to regulate anger and other negative emotions.

• Set an example for what it means to respect women.

         - Boys get most of their ideas about women and how to relate to women from their dad and key father figures

          - Words and comments must communicate respect.

• Be the example of the kind of husband a girl should look for.

2. He/She Needs a Plan for the Future

• Vocational training
• Relationship training
• Rights of passage
• Skills, attitudes, and value planning

3. He/She Needs Moral Benchmarks

• Respect for authority
• Young men need to be held accountable
• They need to know the boundaries

4. He/She Needs a Respect and Purity Monitor

• You must be a respect and purity monitor
• Be sure to do everything you can to help him/her protect their innocence and purity
• Having integrity will carry them for a lifetime

5. He/She Needs Words of Comfort

• Allowing them to express their feelings
• Actively listening to them
• Responding with empathy

6. When a father or father figure is engaged, girls do better:

• More secure
• More confident
• Does better in math
• Likely to marry a man who has similar features as her dad

You can learn more about the National Center for Fathering at www.fathers.com

Remaining Content During the Coaching Carousel of March Madness

Be content.  Every year, right around this time, I begin to dream my biggest dreams.  It seems natural for a basketball coach to do a lot of dreaming during March Madness, doesn't it?  I mean, every night there is a game on television that comes down to the buzzer when coaches & players run around like little kids, filled to the brim with excitement.  I can't help but think about what it will be like when I get to experience those emotions someday.  The emotions of winning a conference championship and earning a birth in the NCAA Tournament.  The emotions of celebrating with young men who worked so hard for so long to achieve something together.  The emotions of climbing a ladder and cutting down a small piece of net that symbolizes you are the best.  The emotions of going into the locker room and realizing that we just accomplished something that very few people ever have the chance to do.  I want to experience that someday!  What coach doesn't?

It's no secret that I want to be a division 1 coach someday.  In fact, I often times hold imaginary timeouts and pregame talks in my living room (when my wife isn't home) preparing myself for that moment when the game or our season is on the line.  As seasons are coming to an end there are so many coaches on the move.  Whether it's a promotion to a new job or getting fired from an old job, the coaching carousel at every level of college basketball is spinning fast this month.  Who will get what job?  Who do I know at that school?  Who do I know that knows someone that knows someone?  How can I break into this business?  Be honest coaches - you all ask those questions trying to figure out how you could land a position.  I'm guilty of it, especially this time of year. But I know that having a mindset of "what's next" isn't always the best one to have and I have learned (and continue to learn) how to deal with those emotions of trying to get the next job.

Currently, I am an assistant coach at Bob Jones University in Greenville, SC.  It's a small school that is in only it's 3rd year of intercollegiate athletics.  I have been here all 3 years and have enjoyed my part in building this program.  I make a decent salary.  I work for a great head coach.  Our staff is wonderful.  Our facilities are some of the best (if not the best) in the state of South Carolina.  But I always find myself at this time of year asking, "what's next?" questioning if I truly am content in my current position.  Why is that?

It's a constant battle to remain content.  I have found that reading through Philippians 4 every March helps me understand God's call for me as a coach.  I would highly recommend reading this regardless of your position, level, or circumstance in coaching.  There are so many great things that Paul encourages us with as he writes.  The first verse that always pops out to me is verse 4.

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!"

- I'm reminded to find my joy in the Lord, not in my job, salary, or circumstance.

The second verse that always helps me and convicts me as a coach are verses 6-7.  Paul tells us not to worry, but instead to pray and be thankful.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

- I'm reminded that I need to place everything in God's hands.  

Then in verses 8-9 he tells us a list of good things to think on.  If and when we think about these things he encourages us to put them into practice & God's peace will be given to us.  That is so encouraging to me to know that God is on my side.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.  What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me - practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."

- I'm reminded that I need to keep my mind focused on things that are going to serve and help others around me.

The next section of the passage (verses 10-20) talk about how God will then provide for us.  I'm always uplifted and rejuvenated after reading this, especially verses 11-13.  The words in these verses make me thankful for a God who cares about me and always has my back.

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

- I'm reminded that even if I want to be coaching at a higher level - I need to be content where God has me because he is shaping me and growing me to become a great coach in the future.  He gives us strength to be content.

It is so easy as a coach to always be looking for the next best thing, the greener pasture.  My challenge that I place on myself is to focus on God and the list that Paul gave us to think about and let things fall into place.  It is so easy to worry or be anxious about moving up the coaching ladder.  Instead, I have learned to focus on being the best I can be in the current position that God has placed me in.  It's not always easy, but it's necessary.  Embrace the current process and do things daily that will continue to make you better.  I'm confident that if God wants me in another position he will open the door, but until that happens I need to continue to be content where I'm at.  I'm thankful that God has placed me at a great university with great people.  

If you are a young coach looking for a job, a current coach looking to move up, or an old coach that may have just been fired - read Philippians 4 and meditate on the truths and promises that God gives us when it comes to being content.  It's powerful and I truly believe that God blesses us when we find contentment in Him!

Happy March Madness.

Who Can Lead?

"Leadership is the ability to get individuals to work together for the common good and the best possible results while at the same time letting them know they did it themselves.

Some people are automatic leaders.  Some can never be leaders.  But many who don't think of themselves as leaders have the potential to become such if they understand the fundamentals of getting individuals to work together."

An excerpt from "Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court" by John Wooden

Eight Suggestions for Succeeding

If you are wanting to be a great leader and a great coach, the first book you should read is "Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court" by Coach John Wooden.  This was the first book that I read while in middle school that really ignited the passion for me to coach.  In it, there are so many valuable nuggets that represent wisdom and knowledge of not only basketball, but every aspect of life.  One of the lessons in the book is a list of his "Eight Suggestions for Succeeding" and it reads like this:

1. Fear no opponent. Respect every opponent.

2. Remember, it's the perfection of the smallest details that make big things happen.

3. Keep in mind that hustle makes up for many a mistake.

4. Be more interested in character than reputation.

5. Be quick, but don't hurry.

6. Understand that the harder you work, the more luck you will have.

7. Know that valid self-analysis is crucial for improvement.

8. Remember that there is no substitute for hard work and careful planning.  Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.


Buy this book here.

Follow @CoachWingreen on Twitter!

My Shoes, My Game, My Brand

GUEST BLOG

by Larry Hunt

These are all headlines [this past week] in various sports outlets – yahoo, etc.

What do they all have in common?

“Eric Bledsoe's crossover makes Clippers' Jared Cunningham jog off the court, toward the stands”

“Kyrie Irving goes between the legs for sweet assist to Kevin Love”

“Erik Lamela scores absurd rabona goal in Europa League match, invalidates all arguments against him”

“CP3's Sick Fake and Score”

All these headlines glorify an individual; all these headlines sensationalize a professional athlete doing something that is actually not uncommon at all. Why then the headlines?

Maybe words like marketing, branding, and self-centeredness come to mind – or something else that reflects the trend to accentuate self. Many elite players today are more enraptured with themselves and their brand than they are sacrificing individual glory for team success. For them it’s all about fame and fortune, all the while feigning humility and the “us” mentality.

Our players need to guard themselves from these “faux [role] models” who consistently prove over time that it’s really all about “me” rather than “us.” A saturation of this worldly, proud persona, especially through social media channels and online news outlets, will quickly skew a player’s perception toward emulating this behavior on the court. Our Bruins’ games should never be “performances”; rather, games should always be contests that require total team effort.

As a side note - there is room for creative, selfless play. Creativity properly used enhances the action required to deceive the opponent. The basketball court is one place in life where deception is allowed! But let’s not be unnatural or ostentatious in our creativity; the day that “playing to the crowd” supersedes “playing for my team” is the day that we regress to mediocrity at best.

Just some random thoughts . . . thanks for reading!

- Coach Larry Hunt, Assistant Men's Basketball Coach

Remember

It's hard to believe that it's been 13 years since America was attacked on September 11th.  So much has changed within our culture since then.  I still remember where I was, what I was doing, and who I was with on that day.  School was just getting started for the day when my 8th grade teacher, Kurt Rummler, told us that a plane crashed into the World Trade Center.  At first, we all thought it was a little recreational plane and our biggest concern was, "how are we going to trade with the world if our World Trade Center is gone?"  I also had tickets that night to go see the Milwaukee Brewers play the St. Louis Cardinals and I was crushed when I learned that the game was cancelled.  I obviously had no clue what was going on at first, but as the day continued, I would soon learn the magnitude of what happened and how it would effect our everyday lives.  Our country lost 2,977 innocent lives on that day and I don't ever want to forget that.

On Monday, our men's basketball team and students here at Bob Jones University helped set up a 9/11 memorial display on the front of our campus that will remain in place until September 15.  It consists of thousands of flags, 2,977 to be exact.  We placed each flag in the ground and formed the structures of the World Trade Towers and the Pentagon.  As we began there was a lot of laughter and our players were having a fun time helping out.  The more flags we placed in the ground, the more I began to realize that we serve a bigger purpose in doing this.  Each of those flags represented an individual that lost his or her life in the 9/11 attacks.  A father, son, sister, or grandmother.  Every flag now served a significant purpose and created a special connection between a college basketball coach and strangers that mean so much to me.  I hope that all of our players and students that volunteered with that project felt a similar feeling behind what we were doing.  I love my country and I still get emotional when I think about September 11, 2001.  I still get sad thinking about the lives lost.  I still get ticked off thinking about the terrorists behind it all.  I still find myself in disbelief that it all happened.  But the greatest emotion I still feel is pride.  There is no better country in the world that the United States of America. I am grateful to live here.  So I hope that when you drive past the campus of Bob Jones University this week and see thousands of flags in the ground, you remember.