3 W's of Relationships

In most cases, players have to walk together and work together before they can win together.

Walking relationship - Initiate a walking relationship with your teammates.

This is generally done off the court. What do you know about your teammates? Their families? Their likes and dislikes? Their struggles? The benefits of walking with your teammates include the biblical admonition of "bearing one another's burdens." For you to know how to encourage your teammates, you need to walk with them. Criticism requires no relationship with the one you are targeting, but if you walk with someone, you will be inclined to encourage him rather than criticize him. In addition, those who walk with someone else will also be inclined to pray for him.

Working relationship - Cultivate a working relationship with your teammates.

A walking relationship with teammates facilitates a working relationship with them. This dynamic generally happens in practices, in the weight room, on the track, and wherever else you work together. How much more inclined are we to work hard with our teammates when we first walk with them? Working together builds unity, establishes trust, and defers our own interests to those of the successes of our team. Do you like to go to work? If you say "yes," you like the players around you and are willing to be patient with their weaknesses and embrace their strengths for the benefit of team success.

Winning relationship - establish a winning relationship with your teammates.

Contrary to "bottom line" enthusiasts, the scoreboard is not the end-all in athletics. We are obligated in obedience to "run, that we may obtain"[the prize]; however, many "wins" exist apart from the final score.

Team goals that preclude a winning score are often "small wins" that, in time, accumulate and ultimately translate into wins on the scoreboard. These "small wins" share a common characteristic: teammates. A winning relationship with fellow teammates happens because the walking and the working relationships have already been established and are continually being enriched.

Now that we are in the off-season (on-season), individual workouts take center stage. As you hone your skills, eliminate weaknesses, and strengthen your body during these months, consider what steps you will take to walk and work with your teammates. Have you thought about initiating those first two w’s – walking and working - with your teammates? Imagine what could happen if a team was already walking and working together going into next season! “Small wins” would undoubtedly produce wins on the scoreboard. More importantly, the team would be able to fulfill its true mission better than ever before: to use the platform of athletics in ministry opportunities all around us. And it would be a true team effort!

This article was written by former BJU Bruins Assistant Coach, Larry Hunt.

Building Relationships

Building relationships are crucial in any job, but they are extremely important in the realm of coaching.  Without true relationships between a coach/player, coach/AD, coach/media, or coach/administration, there will not be any trust. Relationships are built on the foundation of trust and that trust can only be built by loving and being committed to serve others.

As a young coach, I am learning more daily how to become a better leader and how to enhance my relationships with the people I surround myself with.  I like to believe that one of my strengths as a coach is my ability to genuinely love others and make them feel comfortable talking to me.  I'm not a talkative person by nature, but God has given me the unique ability to relate to people and gain their trust.  I look forward to the opportunities I am given to impact others simply by showing an interest in something they love.

Although many relationships are developed by servant leadership and displaying love towards someone, more relationships are maintained through tough love.  In my limited experience as a coach I have had to work with people in ways which they do not like.  College athletes, especially basketball players, do not typically like being told that they are wrong.  Many coaches will deal with an issue like this in one of two ways. 1) They will lash out at the player by yelling and insisting that they are right, or 2) They will give in to the player and let him do what he wants, even though the coach knows it will not make him a better person.  In my opinion, neither of those tactics is the wise way to handle players.  If we truly desire to build relationships with our players we must love them first.  We need to tell them things that they don't want to hear and love them enough to show them how they can make themselves a better player and person.

There are three simple acts that we must contribute to if we truly want to build successful relationships.  The three are:

1. Be Available - As a coach this could simply be having an open door policy for a player to come into your office and talk about life.  It could also be something such as offering a helping hand anytime they may need it.  Reach out to others and offer your talent/knowledge to make them better. (1 Thessalonians 5:11; Hebrews 10:24; Ephesians 4:12)

2. Listen More - Sometimes as coaches we feel that we need to talk, talk, talk.  There are times when the best thing for our team is to just listen to our players.  Listen for tips to run a play better.  Ask them to give insight on team functions and core values.  Asking questions and listening to your players is such a powerful way to build trust and ultimately build lasting relationships. (James 1:19; Proverbs 12:15; Proverbs 18:13)

3. Be Generous - Do something for someone without expecting anything in return.  Coaches and athletes alike tend to be very stubborn and selfish people, well at least if they are like me!  It is human nature to look out for yourself when really we should be looking to do something for another person.  Seek out opportunities to serve and make someone else's life better. (Acts 20:35; Matthew 6:21; 1 Corinthians 9:14)

"The heart of a coach - at least my heart - is the relationship you have with players." - Coach Dale Brown

"The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people." - Theodore Roosevelt

Survive & Advance

Today is the last day of February, which can only mean one thing: March is almost here!  I figured many people will write their March Madness stories beginning tomorrow, so I wanted to get a head start and do one today.  It's the most wonderful time of the year and you will begin to hear many sayings such as, "win or go home" & "do or die."  However, my favorite is "survive and advance."

Many of you know the story of Jim Valvano's 1983 NC State team that won the NCAA National Championship in an unlikely fashion.  They kept surviving game after game after game, winning 9 consecutive to win the title.  The bizarre thing about these wins was that in 7 out of the 9 games - they were losing in the final minute!  They upset teams like Michael Jordan's UNC Tar Heels and Virginia, whom had three-time National POY, Ralph Sampson.  In the National Championship they faced tournament favorite, Houston that featured players like Hakeem Olajuwon and Clyde Drexler.  Jim Valvano's Wolfpack won the game on the unlikeliest of plays - an air ball that was caught and dunked at the buzzer to finish one of the most amazing tournament runs in college basketball history.

But what was it that kept NC State in every fight?  It surely wasn't the abundance of superstars on their roster, but rather an undying love for each other and their team.  Odds couldn't have been more against the Wolfpack that season as they encountered adversity on several occasions.  At one point in the season they lost 6 of 8 games by large deficits to unranked teams.  They were also down by 6 points in the final 24 seconds of their first round tournament game vs. Pepperdine, but found a way to rally back and win in OT. To really stack the odds against them, the 17-10 Wolfpack knew that no team with 10 losses has ever won the NCAA National Championship.  Great teams find a way.  They survive and advance.

Truly great teams embrace qualities that enable them to work together as a collective group.  Here are four characteristics that I believe make a great team.

1. CULTURE - Jon Gordon writes in his book, Soup, "Culture drives behavior and behavior drives habits." The way that you do things as a team are important and no one should be allowed to come in and destroy your culture.  Setting up a system of core values will enable you to hold your team accountable for their behavior.  As the quote states, behavior will become permanent and eventually create great habits that establish a consistent, winning team.

2. ENGAGED RELATIONSHIPS - This is the foundation.  Without relationships there is no team.  You can't be only halfway committed or luke warm in your relationships.  A true team is fully engaged with each other and feels collectively responsible for the other persons actions.  If one person fails, we all fail.  If one person succeeds, we all succeed.  It's never about myself - I should always be looking out for others and building them up. 

3. OPTIMISM - We stress the power of positivity in our program daily. We truly believe that our positive attitudes will create a competitive advantage in all aspects of life.  We believe in each other.  We love each other.  We do things with energy and effort.  Being optimistic is truly a quality of a great team and we need to be continually filling our voids with positivity. 

4. TRUST - We build trust one day at a time.  Sometimes it takes years to build trust, but there is no doubt that it can only take 2 seconds to destroy it.  What trust does is that it generates commitment and ultimately enables ordinary people to become a great team.  People unite and become one unit working for the betterment of the other person.  There is a love that will never be broken.  True teams understand that anything worth achieving only matters if it is done together with love. 

Our regular season has concluded and our team has turned its attention to our tournament.  Just like NC State did in 1983, we have encountered a significant amount of adversity this season.  We have grown closer through all of it and have become stronger as individuals and as a team.  In our minds there is only one game left this season, and it's the next one.  Every practice leading up to that game will require us to embrace these four qualities of a great team.  Rise up.  Survive & Advance.

Sources:
ESPN - http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/ncaatourney03/story?id=1525209 
Soup by Jon Gordon - www.jongordon.com